Miriam's Birth Story

December 23, 2007 (Due date)
No baby. I really thought she'd be here by now, but not so. We went to the hospital last night because I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid. Luckily, I wasn't, but this means I have to wait a little longer. And, the nurse checked my progress, even though I said I didn't want to know. I'm dilated to 3 cm, am 90% effaced and am supposedly having decent sized contractions, although I can't really feel them. Hopefully this means she'll be here soon! I have an appointment tomorrow, maybe the doctor will have good news.

December 24, 2007
No baby. It's Christmas Eve though, so I don't know that I want to be in the hospital or tomorrow anyhow. And I really don't want my poor child to be subjected to a Christmas birthday the rest of her life...even though, at this point, it will be close no matter when she comes.

December 25, 2007
No baby. I had a great Christmas though. Miriam even got some presents of her own although she's not here yet!

December 26, 2007
No baby. People keep pushing me to get induced. I don't want to. If I do, I know I'll end up with an epidural and I really don't want that. Besides, she'll come when she's good and ready. I want her to pick her own birthday.

December 27, 2007
No baby, but I did get to go on a fun date with my sister-in-law, Tara today. It is nice to know I am loved and that people are thinking of me. She took me to get pedicures (which is great because I can't even see my toes, let alone take care of trimming and painting my toenails!) then we had Chinese food at Canton for lunch. It was really fun and was great to get my mind off still being prego. And I suppose it was a bonus for her to get pampered as well since it is her 13th anniversary.

December 28, 2007
No baby. The nurse at the hospital lied. She said I would have had the baby by now, or at least been in labor, based on how I had progressed at that point. I didn't have the doctor check me on Monday because knowing how far dilated I am won't really help anything except make me more anxious. So, as far as I know, I'm still dilated to 3 cm and am 90% effaced.

December 29, 2007
Still no baby. I'm beginning to think I'll be pregnant forever. I wake up every morning knowing that labor will still not happen today. Call it pessimism, if you will. I just call it intuition. I know I will not go into labor today, well, at least I'm pretty sure.

December 30, 2007
Still no baby, but man I've felt lousy today. I stayed home though most of church and would have stayed home from all of it but Josh and Alicia were playing a musical number organ/piano duet. It was beautiful so I'm glad I went. I even had Owen help sneak me in and out so I wouldn't get prodded by everyone in the ward and asked stupid questions like "No, baby yet?" Uh, would I still be pregnant if I had had the baby?! Apparently, most people have no regard for an overdue pregnant lady.

I had Owen and my dad give me a Priesthood blessing because I feel so yucky. I hope it helps since I know I will need my energy in order to labor/give birth with no drugs.

December 31, 2007 (warning -- this is a true birth story -- if you get queasy easily I don't suggest continuing)
3 a.m. I woke up with chills like I've never felt before. I did everything I could think of to get warm without having to get out of bed. No luck. I finally, after what felt like an hour but was probably more like 10 minutes, got out of bed and bundled up. I put on big fuzzy socks, sweat pants, a sweat shirt and a couple extra blankets. If that doesn't work I don't know what will.
5 a.m. Now I'm roasting and sweating like a stuck pig. I guess the extra clothing and blankets did their job. And I'm feeling a little nauseated. Is this labor?
5:30 a.m. I threw up a little bit ago. Ugh...memories of the first trimester, not fun. But I've heard that some women are nauseated during labor and it supposedly helps the dilation process, so bring it on. I just want this baby out!
6:00 a.m. I'm pretty sure this is labor now. I'm definitely having contractions now, but they are quite bearable. I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning, so I'll just wait until then. In the meantime, I'm going to lay in bed and try to get some rest between contractions and nausea attacks.
7:00 a.m. My contractions have definietly picked up and I think it's safe to assume that this is labor. My sister, Alicia, is making French toast, so I think I'll go have some. Hopefully I can keep it down. Doubtful, considering I've thrown up twice, thus far, but at least French toast is yummy. Maybe all I need is something delicious to calm my stomach.
7:40 a.m. I ate one piece of French toast. So far, so good. We're leaving for my appointment now. Although I don't really care to be checked, they won't admit me to the hospital without it happening at least once. I'm hoping I'm progressed to 5 cm at least so that I can just go on up and have my baby rather than going home just to come back later.
8:00 a.m. We're at the doctor's office waiting to be seen. My contractions are really hard right now and it has been tough to relax here with their uncomfortable chairs and benches. The car ride wasn't the best either. I just want to get in the bathtub so I can relax and get this baby out.
8:45 a.m. The doctor finally saw me and says I'm at 5 cm so I can go on up to the hospital. Wahoo! I won't be pregnant forever!
9:15 a.m. I'm just now getting to my room and all sorts of things are going on. It is stressing me out. I'm being asked question after question and the nurses want me to change and get in bed. They want all the monitors on and want to get my hep-lock in. I just want to get in the tub. And Owen is downstairs parking the car. As soon as I walked through the door, the lady at the front desk grabbed a wheelchair and insisted I get upstairs immediately. I was in the middle of a contraction, so I didn't argue. Now I wish I had so he could tell all these people to leave me alone during contractions. Oh, well. Too late for that now.
10:00 a.m. Finally, I'm in the tub. It feels so nice. It makes my contractions much more bearable. I threw up when the nurse was putting the hep-lock in so she ripped it out and had to start over. Wonderful--I already hate needles; this is not helping. And Miriam's heart rate is a little "tachy" (too fast). This combined with the puking made the doctor think I was dehydrated. I had to agree to have two bags of fluids through the I.V. in order to get in the tub. I reluctantly agreed, but at least I'm in the tub. I was beginning to think I'd never get to labor calmly, but now they've left me alone and I can relax.
10:30 a.m. The contractions are really hard. I'm glad I'm in the tub; I don't think I could do this otherwise. Valerie (my doula) and Owen are here keeping me company and providing support. They keep asking what I like/don't like and what they can do to help. Honestly, I don't know what I want, other than to have this baby out! And I'm done with my fluids treatment so I can now put both arms underwater and get as comfortable as possible.
11:00 a.m. The doctor wants to check me again. I don't want to be checked. I don't need to be checked. I want to stay in the tub. Valerie told the nurse that I don't want an exam, but she has to report to the doctor first. In the meantime, I'm going back to Laborland so I can get my baby here.
11:15 a.m. The doctor is back and insists on me being checked due to the dehydration and the baby's heart rate. I'll agree to it, but intuition says everything is fine and that the fast heart rate was just because I was stressing when I first got her and had everything going on all at once...during contractions. So, I am slowly getting my whale of a body out of the tub to get an exam that I don't want.
11:30 a.m. I'm at 5 cm. The doctor says my labor is stalled and wants to break my water or give me pitocin. I don't want either, so I decline. She is frustrated with me and I am frustrated with her. She just keeps pushing and prodding, but I will not consent. I know my body and I know I am progressing just fine, despite what she says. Owen could tell I was getting upset so he took her out to the hall to discuss things further. I am still laboring just fine, although it is getting much more difficult to relax during the contractions. They are so hard, almost unbearable, but Valerie is with me to keep me company and I am prepared to continue on. I've worked way too hard to quit now. (While Owen was with the doctor in the hall, she told him that the way my labor was stalled would result in a C-section if intervention isn't made soon. Her experience showed that 100% of the time with a situation like mine and no intervention a C-section was inevitable -- 100% of the time? Let's get real here...nothing happens 100% of the time, especially not with labor! He asked if both the baby and I were fine and she said we were. He told her we'd need some time to think about our choices and after she said we could have five minutes, he shut the door in her face...Go Honey!)
11:40 a.m. The doctor came back in and told us "I don't think you want a medical doctor. I think you want is a midwife?" Please, send her up! "I'll go call her." Meanwhile, I was allowed to get back in the tub. Good thing too, because my contractions were on top of one another. It was getting bad and I needed to do my best to relax.
11:55 a.m. I'm back in the tub and my contractions are double peaking. I'm not sure if I can do this much longer. This is getting really uncomfortable. I want nothing more than to crawl out of my skin right now. This is so hard and it hurts. I'll hang in there a little longer. I don't want to wimp out and give in.
12:10 p.m. More contractions. They're getting harder and harder and feel like ten minutes long each. They are all blending together now and I can't tell when one ends and another begins. I can't do this anymore. There is so much pressure going on inside me right now I feel as if I might explode. I'm sure I've got at least five more hours of this, so I'm giving up. It hurts too much; I'm getting an epidural, but I don't want to ask in front of Valerie.
12:15 p.m. I asked Valerie to leave (in a round about way by saying I wanted just Owen with me--she understood and kindly left us alone). I am sobbing and whining. I can't do this anymore. I want an epidural. Owen said he would tell the nurse and left me there to wait, alone.
12:20 p.m. The nurse says I have to get out of the tub so the midwife can check me before they can call the anesthesiologist up. Painstakingly, Owen helps me roll over to my knees but I feel a hard contraction coming so I get on all fours to wait it out. I feel like I'm going to throw up, so I gag and cough. My water bursts. "Now I really want the epidural!" I tell Owen. I knew that my contractions were going to intensify and get much worse and I wasn't about to endure any more.
12:25 p.m. He helped me get out of the tub and wraps a towel around me. I waddle into the room and crawl onto the bed so the midwife can check my progress.
12:30 p.m. The midwife is there and says I am fully dilated. No epidural...it's time to have a baby! I'm tired, but relieved that I can push now and get my baby out. I try different positions; all-fours, squatting, a sitting-squat because my legs are too shaky and tired to hold me any longer. I push and push and it feels so much better. My contractions have slowed and I can rest in between them. The midwife says the baby will need to be suctioned almost immediately following birth because there was meconium staining when my water broke. This saddens me, but she says I can still hold her as soon as she's born and they will wait a couple minutes before clamping the cord. This will have to do. A healthy baby is most important.
1:00 p.m. I keep pushing and pushing. I'm getting more and more tired, but I can feel her coming down my back and I know she is so close. It feels so good to push and burns like heck when I stop. So I keep going.
1:17 p.m. She out! She's here! What a relief! I did it...no drugs or nothin'! Now I know I can do anything. Happy New Year's Eve!

*Side note*: This was written June 17,2008 -- I had intentions of writing it much sooner following Miriam's birth but put it off. I'm doing my best to remember the details as accurately as possible after almost six months of sleep deprivation.